Idea #29: Unwanting

Waste. Waste. WASTE!  It is the problem of our age: Inefficiency. We are a culture that is absorbed with getting more and what er get more of tends to be incrementally less dependable as the years go on.  The new products that are developed break down faster than older products, food goes unused but perfectly edible still, smog, smoke, random “needs” that turn into forgotten dumpster fillers, college futons that cannot be taken home, books unread, computers with only the screen broken, iPods with slightly outdated features, mendable and still useful clothing, out-of-style furniture, and everything in between.  Waste. Waste. Waste.

Efficient Bunnies

It is a curse of being social and insecure: We desire to try what is popular and taste what is considered delicious.  To be known today means to be out and buying.  It is a corrupt system with total disregard for the future generation that will inherit it and the lost resources.  (Look up the short documentary called The Story of Stuff for a bit more in-depth look into this system) My point?  It should be obvious but let me throw in a strange fact.  Rabbits are fantastic creatures:  They are possibly one of the cleanest creatures on Earth.  They are constantly cleaning their fur, shedding and renewing their fur, not to mention (though it has nothing to do with cleanliness) near 360-degree vision and an ability to hop 2 to 4 times their own height, etc. etc.  Quite remarkable.  What is most remarkable is that bunnies will occasionally and for health reasons eat their own poop.  That’s right, fecal matter.  They eat it.  If you don’t believe me you can look it up. Bunnies are very resourceful.

So why aren’t we? 

Idea #19: Single-Layer Winter Wear

Wake up any morning in winter and walk outside in your pjs.  Cold? For most of the world yes.  What do people do to fight the cold?  Layer up!  For example today I knew that I was going to have to be outside for most of the day and that it was going to be close to zero degrees (F).  Therefore, I dressed as if I was going to go downhill skiing: 2 tanktops, 1 sleeveless T-shirt, 2 regular T-shirts, 1 long-sleeved shirt/sweater, 1 hooded sweatshirt, 1 double breasted jacket, a bandana, a knit hat over the bandana, a scarf, two pairs of shorts underneath my jeans, and two pairs of socks.  That being said, my fingers were still cold because I had not brought my gloves.

In the end I (and everyone else in my tour) looked like a bunch of rolly poly Eskimos!  We were positively stuffed…and still cold.  The worst part is not the cold though, its the heat.  What do I mean?  Consider going from freezing cold temperatures to room temperature or a crowded bus with the heat turned on full blast next to your legs… get the picture? Suddenly you are no longer cold, you are burning-fever hot. The only option is to shed a few layers which is never easy to to on a crowded bus or in a crowded restaurant.

Single-Layer Joy

All I’m saying is that it is a waste of time and it still doesn’t get the job done.  I want to be able to walk outside in the winter wearing the exact same amount of clothing that I can in the summer and still feel warm (without moving to Playa del Carmen) If it is 40 degrees there should be clothing for that.  If it is 30 degrees then I should be able to reach into my closet and pull out a single shirt that will absolutely guarantee me warmth at that temperature.  20 degrees? Same. 10 degrees? Same. -20 degress? Why are you living there!?? Some kind of thread should be invented that could be woven into T-shirts, sweatshirts, etc. that would not effect the style or feel much but will give that needed protection from the elements.

If it is cold I don’t want to think about how many layers I need to wear, one is enough.

Pros: No more wasted time putting on and taking off all those stupid layers of clothing, fewer things in the closet, no more worries about cold weather (warmth guaranteed!), no more headaches and fevers due to overheating when you move from freezing temperatures to heated rooms.

Cons: The likelihood of poor ventilation in these outfits leads one to consider the massive sweating problems that may ensue from overuse!

Idea #18: Silent Velcro

Velcro was invented somewhere in the mid-fifties.  As we all know, it is thanks to that single invention that we no longer depend on shoelaces at all.  The Great Shift, as it would be later known, from shoelace headaches to Velcro ease was a pivotal turning point in this nation’s, and indeed the world’s, history…

…just kidding.  Obviously velcro didn’t destroy the shoelace and today we still walk around wasting our time trying to ties our shoes every morning when we go to work, every evening when we go out to dinner or to the movies on the weekend.  Every day we throw away minutes doing an absolutely mundane and pointless task.  Why is it pointless?  Velcro does the same thing and it gets it done faster: SWOOSH, SLAM! done, your shoes are “tied”.  Why then, I ask, are we still using laces?  It may be because they look better, surely fashionistas everywhere will revel at the very thought of using only velcro from now on, but look at the ordinary person; ordinary people like the style and the feel of the shoe, they don’t think “oh great and it has laces so I can tie it, nice!”

Does velcro look childlike?  Probably.  We grew up dreaming of the day when we could retire our crappy kid shoes with the colorful velcro for the more adult-looking shoes with the fancy laces.  Little did we know of the woes.  In this way we all look at velcro and think, with a voice in our head that sounds similar to cooing in a baby’s ear, “Oh Velcro you’re so cuuuute!  SO cute!  Who’s the velcro?  Who is it!?  Yes! You are velcro!  So cute.” And move on happily to the skinny and annoying (but oh so sophisticated) laces.

Don’t believe me?  Here are a few quotes that I pulled right off the web about velcro:

i think velcro makes a foot look bigger and tied shoes make the foot look smaller

I really associate them with childhood.

You know what they really remind me of those shoes you wore as a kid (when you couldn’t lace your shoes)!

I like the look of the laces better and may wear the shoes around the office a bit.

People do see velcro as a child’s toy and ugly.  Then look at this next opinion and think again about velcro.  What do you think of the statement the salesman makes?

I’m looking into getting some shoes to use with my campus pedals (spd).
The salesman at my LBS is recommending velcro over laces. His reasoning is that the velcro doesn’t stretch like the laces, so you get more power to the pedal.

To sum things up, the comfort and practicality loose to what someone else besides yourself thinks.  Sure velcro has its other uses, but the question remains: Why don’t we use velcro more in our shoes today? Childlike-image aside, (and long story short) I say it’s the sound.  People don’t like the sound that velcro makes when you pull it apart, plain and simple.  It is loud and annoying and people just don’t want to be looked at in that way.  Magnets are silent options but they just don’t have the hold that velcro offers.  Somebody invent Silent Velcro now please!! (or tell me where I can buy some)

Pros: Less time wasted on tying your shoes, more time spent watering the grass

Cons: The added stealth might increase crime rates across the world

Idea #17: Self-adjusting Shoe laces

Darn Laces

This morning I woke up and got ready for work.  As is customary in most cultures, I put on my shoes.  Today though, something had to be done.  I couldn’t just sit down and tie my shoes, no.  I had to take my laces and re-adjust them because one side had mysteriously become longer than the other side.  I don’t know what causes this freak phenomenon but it’s annoying.  It’s really annoying. I have to spend another 3 minutes of my time to loosen them up, calibrate them, check for tire pressure, and then tighten them in place again.  What a waste!

Give me shoelaces that I never have to re-adjust myself.  I want them to re-adjust themselves while I sleep.

…oh and don’t give me any velcro.

Pros: No more awkwardly big shoelace loop next to awkwardly small shoelace loops, less wasted time.

Cons: Shoe laces become too smart for their own good and leave the shoes completely in search for a new life and the promise of fame.

Idea #2: Expandable clothing

Maybe this is just a problem with our materialistic world but I know I own several pairs of pants, t-shirts, sweatshirts, jackets, shorts, etc. etc. etc. Of course it is nice to have the fashion and the option to layer clothing to create an effect but all that shelf space!  All that time that goes into wearing clothing….excessive to some point?

This idea came to me as I was surfing the blog world and came across an article about how zippers may be the next “IN’ thing.  Yup, that’s right, zippers.  Apparently zippers (when ordered in bulk for manufacturing) come in massive rolls of up to 200meters.  Some fashion companies then thought, what can we do with something we have so much of?  Several higher-end retailers in England have also toyed with this idea on purses (making for interesting color schemes and expandable purses) but even today in many retail shops you can find shoes that are covered in multiple useless zippers.  Useless, that is, simply because the shoe does not loosen at all when they are unzipped, the zipper is simply there for fashion purposes.  Other ideas may be a bit extreme, I admit.

Anyway, seeing these items the thought came to my mind that there ought to be mini zipper-like objects on many of the clothes we wear.  I know that there are pants that you can unzip to become shorts, but this is different.  It would work in a way like a tailor would.  It seems a little sci-fi but imagine going into a store and seeing only one of everything.  One pair of pants of a certain design alongside another pair of pants of a different design.  There are no size gradations at all, simply the style of pants.

Now imagine trying those pants on and viola! They fit. No matter what, they fit.  You decide you don’t like the color though and walk out of the store.  Now imagine that the next person who likes that exact same pair of pants walks into the store and tries on that very same pair of pants except that this person is several inches taller and a bit wider than you are.  You might expect them to be out of luck.  There is no way that they could fit into that same pair that you just had on…or is there?

Amazingly, the pants fit them just fine in length and width.  They instantly adjust (and no, we’re not talking elastic here!) They are jeans or whatever but they fit on this person just as well as they fit on you!  I don’t know what kind of technology needs to be invented before this is possible but that would sure be cool.  As long as the style is right, you know they have your size, every time.

Pros: Minimize shopping time, never have to worry about tailoring again, stores would not have to stock as much, businesses would not lose money to customers that could not find the right size, you can actually buy clothing for your loved one/friend without having to worry about if it fits or not.

Cons: Sucks to be a tailor.